This is what bad days are made up of.....
Today was the first time in a long long time when i actually just didn't feel like getting out of bed n if it weren't for my bloody conscience I probably would've been sleeping till now n that really really wouldn't have been such a bad thing after all.
I got up late,(actually contemplated getting up for a long long time before i eventually did) but managed to hurry up all my morning jobs ie The Triple S(Shit Shower Shave)in good time n set off to work like on any other NORMAL day.But Normal was the last thing i should've expected.
I got onto my bike,got out of the building only to realise that i had a flat tyre.Being to lazy to wheel it over to the local tyre 'wallah' i decided to ride it there thinking it wouldn't make much of a difference.
Got there,got it inspected n apparantly my tube was beyond repair.Realised it was time to get fleeced n willingly submitted myself to whatever exorbitant amount of money he'd want to put in some fake duplicate tube so i could at least get to work on time.
Thankfully,i thought to myself,there's an ATM right next door at E-Square,so money wasn't an issue.
But apparantly it was,the guard at the ATM told me that the ATM was out of order due to some uplink problems. Brilliant,i thought to myself. So I called up my roomie,who thankfully was awake and also had just about enough money to help me pay for the tube. So I paid the guy off, insisted he give me a receipt for the tube since he was giving me a 6 month guarantee for the tube n headed off,already about an hour late. This left me with exactly 10 rupees in my wallet.
Well the next part is quite predictable,got stuck in typical morning traffic,so thought id do something smart n go from the "peeche ka rasta" since it would be less crowded n barely any traffic.
But desolate roads also mean there're no PETROL PUMPS ON THEM. Yup,you guessed it right,about 4 km's ahead my bike decides to start sputterring and coughing.
No petrol pump(gas station for you ignorant Americans or wannabe Americans) for another 4 km's ahead.
There was no chance in hell i was gonna wheel my bike for those 4 km's and anyway i had only 10 rupees with me.
Just then i dont know what happened,whether God decided that i'd had enough of whether lady luck finally decided to take some pity on me,i spotted this bootlegger,yup you read that right,a bootlegger selling petrol out of cans on the side of the road.
I actually had the balls to go n ask him if he could give me ten rupees of petrol,he laughed,scoffed n even refused saying what the hell I was gonna do with a "few drops" of petrol but finally,after a lot of begging,pleading and in the end demanding he did break n let me have that TEN RUPEES OF PETROL.Trust me I've never seen less petrol in my life.Its almost a joke.If it wasn't me id be laughing my balls of at even the thought of buying ten rupees of petrol.
But that was enough to take me to the nearest Petrol Pump.I reach there n what do i see?A line!!You know,in India,you seriously have to stand in a line for EVERYTHING.Like from using the rest room to getting a birth certificate.Anyway.. this line was massive.One single pump n a 4 row line.Thankfully this pump accepted cards.
I waited my turn in the line,saw people cutting the line,going ahead of me,fighting to maintain their place in the line as if it were a matter of life n death,n very unlike me,i just watched silently,almost as if I'd resigned to my fate.
Then when my turn came,I 'filled her up' n gave the guy operating the pump my card.How the HELL am I supposed to know that there's just one guy operating the entire station??
So this same guy who's been filling petrol since God alone knows when,goes in to swipe my card n everyone waiting in line starts abusing me n giving me glares.Again,very unlike me,without reacting,I just went ahead,signed the bloody slip and left.
All in all,pretty much a PERFECT morning!
I got up late,(actually contemplated getting up for a long long time before i eventually did) but managed to hurry up all my morning jobs ie The Triple S(Shit Shower Shave)in good time n set off to work like on any other NORMAL day.But Normal was the last thing i should've expected.
I got onto my bike,got out of the building only to realise that i had a flat tyre.Being to lazy to wheel it over to the local tyre 'wallah' i decided to ride it there thinking it wouldn't make much of a difference.
Got there,got it inspected n apparantly my tube was beyond repair.Realised it was time to get fleeced n willingly submitted myself to whatever exorbitant amount of money he'd want to put in some fake duplicate tube so i could at least get to work on time.
Thankfully,i thought to myself,there's an ATM right next door at E-Square,so money wasn't an issue.
But apparantly it was,the guard at the ATM told me that the ATM was out of order due to some uplink problems. Brilliant,i thought to myself. So I called up my roomie,who thankfully was awake and also had just about enough money to help me pay for the tube. So I paid the guy off, insisted he give me a receipt for the tube since he was giving me a 6 month guarantee for the tube n headed off,already about an hour late. This left me with exactly 10 rupees in my wallet.
Well the next part is quite predictable,got stuck in typical morning traffic,so thought id do something smart n go from the "peeche ka rasta" since it would be less crowded n barely any traffic.
But desolate roads also mean there're no PETROL PUMPS ON THEM. Yup,you guessed it right,about 4 km's ahead my bike decides to start sputterring and coughing.
No petrol pump(gas station for you ignorant Americans or wannabe Americans) for another 4 km's ahead.
There was no chance in hell i was gonna wheel my bike for those 4 km's and anyway i had only 10 rupees with me.
Just then i dont know what happened,whether God decided that i'd had enough of whether lady luck finally decided to take some pity on me,i spotted this bootlegger,yup you read that right,a bootlegger selling petrol out of cans on the side of the road.
I actually had the balls to go n ask him if he could give me ten rupees of petrol,he laughed,scoffed n even refused saying what the hell I was gonna do with a "few drops" of petrol but finally,after a lot of begging,pleading and in the end demanding he did break n let me have that TEN RUPEES OF PETROL.Trust me I've never seen less petrol in my life.Its almost a joke.If it wasn't me id be laughing my balls of at even the thought of buying ten rupees of petrol.
But that was enough to take me to the nearest Petrol Pump.I reach there n what do i see?A line!!You know,in India,you seriously have to stand in a line for EVERYTHING.Like from using the rest room to getting a birth certificate.Anyway.. this line was massive.One single pump n a 4 row line.Thankfully this pump accepted cards.
I waited my turn in the line,saw people cutting the line,going ahead of me,fighting to maintain their place in the line as if it were a matter of life n death,n very unlike me,i just watched silently,almost as if I'd resigned to my fate.
Then when my turn came,I 'filled her up' n gave the guy operating the pump my card.How the HELL am I supposed to know that there's just one guy operating the entire station??
So this same guy who's been filling petrol since God alone knows when,goes in to swipe my card n everyone waiting in line starts abusing me n giving me glares.Again,very unlike me,without reacting,I just went ahead,signed the bloody slip and left.
All in all,pretty much a PERFECT morning!
posted by Aditya Udas at 11:45 AM
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